Ychar;
Thursday, May 31, 2007

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Ychar;
Thursday, May 31, 2007

I am absolutely shagged out..sooooooo tired. :( I'm gonna go slp after this.
Yesterday was the most tiring day ever..did oxfam in the morning then we went to view 4 houses all over london..omg..felt like we were having an excursion all over london. First we went to borough in the south, then archway up north then olympia then west kent..saw many parts of london that i've nv been to. And today we went down to aldgate and then to pimlico.. After all the tubing and maxing out our oyster cards and walking walking walking....hopefully we can settle our house by this friday. I am going to find 2 jobs over summer..gonna go broke paying rent when i'm not even ard in london. :(. I thought i would be very free and relaxed after exams..but ever since my last paper, i've hardly had time to juz sit down and relax and read a book, drink some tea or properly chat with my friends. Where has all the time gone? In 2 weeks, i'll be back home and missing london..can i not go home just yet? Feel like extending my ticket again..lol. I'm even feeling stressed thinking about my holiday..and just hoping everything will be perfect. tmr i shall give myself a break from whatever i've been doing and go shop. i need to shop. badly.
I've been thinking about loads of things lately and last night ru gave me her 2 cents worth of very deep insight on the pursuit of happiness and contentment and why we should be extra nice to people we don't like. Issues which i've been grappling with. I still think indifference is the best. Why should i waste my time thinking and complaining about someone i don't like? You are not worth it. I have more important things to do.

Ychar;
Wednesday, May 30, 2007

It's been another one of those dreary cold cold cold rainy days :(. Lots of stuff on my mind now. Confusion. Decisions. Future decisions. And letting ppl down again even if its indirectly. I just wanna sit on the fence and not decide. Will that make any difference?
Faith..where are you..

Ychar;
Monday, May 28, 2007

Today was another whole day at oxfam..eduardo still keeps speaking to me in spanish coz he keeps forgetting that i can't speak spanish..haha..super funny guy. Anyways, after oxfam, alex came down and we went to borders to search for chinese and spanish language books. we're gonna self study first and then when we get back over the summer, he's gonna teach me spanish and i'm gonna teach him chinese..haha. My heart was so warmed today! When i stepped into oxfam in the morning..i found that alex had left me a teach-yourself-spanish book complete with audio cds and elisa left me a book on lisbon even though i only casually mentioned that i was going next sunday..feel so loved..hahaha..didn't think ppl will bother to rmb what i say. Yamara dragged rakel to the havana rakatan again last night where she made rakel stand up and dance with her..haha and then they continued the partying at a salsa club in charing cross without calling alex and i..hmph. haha. Today's a lovely day even though the weather was drizzly and down..and strangely i don't feel tired at all even after working the whole day. Think i'll stay up tonight and read up on portugal and spain and read a bit of my new spanish book.haha. Feel so inspired.I really love the latino culture and spanish culture. And alex says my accent is exotic.yay. haha..another reason why singaporeans shouldn't bother changing their accents when they speak to ppl from elsewhere..hate it when ppl do that.

Housing issue..thought it would be settled last night but both unfortunately and fortunately, we're gonna look for another place. Hope we can get the contract back though..bloody agent. After hearing all the stories from my friends, i feel so cheated. Stupid manor house place.
Hai...so next week its just house hunting, oxfam, reading up for my trip, learning spanish and korean and hanging out...why do i feel that i wil learn spanish better and faster than korean?...haha..i'm gonna be so dead for saying this.

Something i've been chewing over lately: Faithfulness
I still don't know what it means to me and thats worrying me..faithfulness to God has been esp difficult of late..so many temptations, too many sins, not enough faith..and i've nearly broken the 6th commandment..and i find myself these days reminding myself so often that i'm catholic when it should be already intrinsic in me what to do and what not to do. Crap. Everyone's given the same measure of faith..i just need to find where all of mine has gone..Why am i listening to The Fray's 'all at once' again??hai...so reminded of the conversation i had with jamin and sherlyn in oxford on contentment..when will we know we've had enough?when will be the point where we find contentment? Do we set the level of contentment, achieve it and then be contented? Or do we find contentment in continuous doses and in increasing levels? I think i already know the answer for me to be content.

Ychar;
Saturday, May 26, 2007

I am soooo tired. Got back from oxford early early this morning and I'd only slept 4 or 5 hrs last night but i had a lot of fun. Had my first formal dinner at Green college with Sherlyn as Jamin's guests and I must say i really wish LSE has such traditions. bah. We should have formals too. Not fair. Oxford and Cambridge are so entrenched in history and tradition unlike london unis. And their colleges are so olden and harry potter-like. Totally love the tranquility and quiet town of oxfordshire..it was nice getting away from the big city of london and just unwinding for a day..and on the way there, my mood just changed and i became more and more relaxed the further i got from london. Green college is a graduate college so its pretty small compared to the other colleges. And its such a pretty pretty place! and lives up to its name by having a lot of greenery. Really envy jamin for being able to stay and study in such a nice place..i love the countryside..only for a few days. haha i guess i'll get bored easily in oxford. I'm a city girl at heart and i need london to keep me going.

Today i met april and guan for lunch..haven't seen april in ages so it was good to meet and catch up! So we had korean food for lunch haha. and then we went covent garden to shop..today was a kinky shopping day. hehe. Ann summers is such a cool store. kinky kinky. But i still prefer victoria secrets..too bad got to order online here coz london doesn't have any of its stores! argh.

Thinking about summer...i think i must keep myself busy. I must learn korean and improve my lousy jap no matter what and i wanna pick up spanish too. busy busy. I'm in for anything latino these days..just so inspired. haha. Love the culture, love the people!! they're genuinely warm people unlike most of the sg ppl i know..ahem ahem. And of coz i love the language! lanzarote will wait for me...haha..you'd better keep ur promise!

Ychar;
Friday, May 25, 2007

Crap!Crap crap crap!! I want to go lanzarote too..........no.........................damn! ALEX!! ARGH!!! I'm so jealous of ppl who have lived in so many countries as they grew up that they have houses and families everywhere!! argh! Why must all my family only be in sg and china...sianz!! Lanzarote..lanzarote..lanzarote...argh...

Ychar;
Friday, May 25, 2007

Today was such a fantastic day :) :)..Spent the entire day at oxfam where i made a huge mistake but with a lot of luck and grace, managed to correct it by the time we closed shop..so at least i didn't have to fork out any money. phew. Learnt a super big lesson today..i'd better be more alert when i'm sitting at the till..hai..learning so much stuff that can't be learnt from uni or anywhere else..guess its very diff in a charity. Ironically, after a while you learn not to feel so sorry for some of the ppl who come in..like this man in a wheelchair who tried to trick us by changing the prices on some of the items that he wanted to buy..luckily i've done months of pricing so i know how much the items are worth and i managed to stop the transaction and called nelly..these ppl...hai.....
Then after work, i went to watch a cuban dance performance 'Havana rakatan' with yamara, alex and nelly...and guess where it was?? haha peacock theatre in lse..omg i thought i would nv go back there after my exams..haha but the show was sooooooooooooo good. There was salsa, rumba, mambo, flamenco(!!!!!) and many others plus a live cuban band playing and singing at the back!! and for each dance, it told a cuban story which yamara explained to me as we went along..so interesting..i never knew a country that is so rich in culture like cuba. And when i told them that we don't dance at all in sg, they were flabbergasted.hahah.coz dance is such an integral part of their culture..domenican republic and cuba are very similar coz they both have a some african religion and culture. So tonight nelly and yamara became so homesick..haha. I love all the dances..so sensual and sexy and you need a connection with the person ur dancing with otherwise u'll nv pull it off like that..pretty amazing dances. Glad i learnt some salsa this yr..so at least i could appreciate the performance tonight..haha i'm so inspired to learn and improve more. Yamara was up half the time dancing during the performance..haha guess its in her blood..pretty cool not to be self-conscious..alex was saying he could nv get up and dance like that in the middle of a show..and i was like yea me too..haha. omg actually i'm feeling so woozy now..had too much wine and now i'm feeling very lala~~haha. Fantastic day. I'm gonna change my ticket to the 18th..this will be the 4th time i'm changing my ticket..but heck. I wanna stay for the cuban festival now..and its on the 16th and 17th. lalala.

Ychar;
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I finally got a taste of summer in london today....it was soooo terribly hot and the sun was out for the whole day..totally loved it! I think i've become a little bit tanner now...Went shopping again and i feel like i'm re-discovering london..guess i've been cooped up in my room for too long mugging..today i discovered a few fantastic streets off regent st with a lot of cool coffeeshops and little boutique stores..But now that exams are all done and over with, i've got a 4 month break ahead and its looking pretty.......blank. hahaha. No internships, nothing..maybe i'll go back and do relief teaching or get some other job. But before that, its a month here before going home and a week in portugal and spain!! woohoo~~~ Even though my mediterranean summer dream is no longer...portugal and spain are equally good! cheap and good seafood, portugese eggtarts, fantastic beaches, far away from london...how good can life get..hahaha.

And for now, its Oxfam all the way..somehow i really love working there even though i don't get paid and some ppl say its a waste of time. but i've made so many friends there like yamara, nelly, alex, rex, lily. libeth plus all the regular customers i've come to know..and today was like the 5th or 6th time nelly asked me to go back with alex to the domenican republic in july coz they have a house there...but awww shucks..although i sooooooo badly want to go to the caribbean, i'm going back homeeeeee. :( But they've asked me to go with them in dec..coz then nelly would be going back too and i'll only need to pay for the tic..yay! hopefully that will work out.. And i kind of forgot about the cuban festival on the 17th that i promised to go with yamara..crap..coz i changed my ticket again but now its for the 16th. One day short. Anyway, i think i've learnt a lot from oxfam and from all the ppl i've met...like a few days ago, there was this woman who bought a wedding dress from us..kind of got me thinking..i mean maybe maybe she juz needed a wedding dress for a costume or something..but what if she's really getting married?...and then there was that man who tried to steal some cds under his coat..i gave him such a fierce scolding, i scared off a few customers..but i was super pissed k. Coz we're a charity and all our money goes to help ppl in africa and this man actually wanted to steal from us! Shame on him! ...hmmm...and my druggie friend who's trying to quit..sometimes ppl aren't always what they seem to be...and even if u have a record, who's to judge who you are inside?ppl deserve 2nd chances..and of coz nelly..it wouldn't be the same without her..i've learnt so much about customer management from her and how to handle difficult ppl better...coolstuff.

Actually come to think of it...i don't really feel like going back home. Of coz i wanna see my family and friends..but somehow, london now has so much to hold me back. When i went back in easter, i felt like i was really straddling 2 diff worlds and trying to tie things together and feel like i belong at home and then come back to london and try to feel like i belong here. And now i've become so adjusted to life here that i don't feel like uprooting myself and go back and start over trying to fit my life back to how it was. Somehow things won't always remain the same. Friends will find new friends in uni and wherever and somehow, one way or other, we start to drift apart..and treasure even more those who remain behind. I guess this is part and parcel of life..and when we all start working, it'll be even worse. :( But then we meet new ppl, make new friends, new connections, new networks..and life goes on. And its also strange how i'm actually missing the most unexpected of ppl..I dunno why i'm in such a pensieve mood all of a sudden...maybe its coz sch is now offically over for me and life at lse has come to a close for now until oct. Suddenly reflecting on my uni life which hasn't been that satisfactory..and i feel like i've grown up so much so fast and i'll be 20 in july..omg..the big 2-0. Now i know why ell and ken always say once u hit 20, life changes.......... :( argh. okok. i must stop thinking negatively. i need more positive energy!

Now i just wanna take a long bath with the new soap i bought from lush..my current fav store. Always end up buying stuff everytime i enter it..bah. And after that, i shall start on some other drama..feeling terribly lazy after being out for the whole day...need to make a list of things to buy for my trip too...like sunblock, bikini(dunno y i left all at home! so stupid..pablo me), more sundresses blah blah blah. haha. I am so excited just thinking about portugal and spain..been wanting to go to these 2 places for ages. And this time its gonna be perfect. Perfect company, perfect weather, perfect everything :) :) :).

Ychar;
Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

ROFL. I like this one...homophobics..lol.

Ychar;
Saturday, May 19, 2007

Today's a happy happy day :)...econs is over at last and i have a pretty good feeling about the paper although it could definitely have been better if i had more time to expand and elaborate more..but on the whole, i thought it was all right. phew. Only stats left to go now. And i gave myself a break today and went shopping with.....hahaha. Bought a gorgeous russell&bromley bag :) :) :). I'm leaving stats til the weekend..not much to mug anyway since i juz need to go thru the past yr papers. Holiday planning is really tiring. Esp when ur on a budget and not willing to spend 200pounds just on airtickets.. :(. But i want my mediterranean summer dream. want. want. want. haha. Anyway, i've been having fun with my new toy. So addicted. I should have done this earlier. haha. absolutely love spring. Something's in the air..and i think i know what it's called..haha.
And beh, call me next week if you can...got lots to tell u and i've misplaced ur number somewhere.....so ya.

Ychar;
Friday, May 18, 2007

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another

Ychar;
Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

ROFL. This is so typical. Bitch behind others' back and yet put on a nice front when you see him/her..how would you like it if the tables were turned? Hate hypocrites..even though sometimes for pragmatic reasons, there is a need to be cordial and nice and polite..but thats only sometimes ya?

Ychar;
Tuesday, May 15, 2007

yah yah yah..appreciate knowledge..a lot of ppl want to get to lse but can't so appreciate the exams..yah yah yah. I shall stop bemoaning about the exams..so stop nagging!.. argh. 6 more days to liberation then maybe it'll be turkey or portugal or spain? i need a break. mediterranean here i come.

Ychar;
Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Ychar;
Monday, May 14, 2007

Newfound Jealousy

yup shirlyn tan's songs have been accompanying me while i'm mugging...perfect music to chill out too. I think she's the only local singer i support other than corrinne may who rocks too. Esp love the song 'Window'..so much meaning behind every sentence..ha.

BAH. I HATE THE EXAMS....only consolation is...i've only got 2 more years of exams after this and then work/career beckons..and by then, i wouldn't mind working coz at least i'll get paid for it and it'll be more exciting and challenging..hopefully.

Ychar;
Sunday, May 13, 2007

People say that in times of adversity, your true friends will be the ones who remain behind. But how would you know if they're not staying for some other reason? I think people are still inherently selfish..they do things to make you feel like they did it in your interests but actually they do them just to make themselves feel better..guess I'm guilty of that too..sometimes. These past 2 days, i've come to realised that i'm actually quite petty..really surprising revelation. I know i'm evil..don't see the reason for being so nice..heck. But ah well..i have gotten so used to being indifferent about so many things. I've hardly let ppl or things ppl say affect me coz i just don't care and don't bother and even if someone does something that should be pissing me off, i can't be bothered to expend energy to get angry and worked up and waste time complaining to others about it..passiveness and indifference..i've been like that for a long while ever since my sailing days which taught me a hell lot about life, competition(not only on the water) and how ppl change when they want something badly enough. But today something has been stirred up inside and its suddenly strange how worked up i can be...which hasn't happened in ages. On a lighter note, its funny how the most unexpected ppl turn out to be the best confidantes even if they're far away. I'm glad these ppl came into my life..glad for the positivity they bring and glad for the objectivity they have.

Ychar;
Saturday, May 12, 2007

I have decided. No more studying for the next 2 days! Anyway i'll probably forget everything that i have studied over the past few days so i might as well juz leave everything til the weekend and revise again...how hard can that be... Jap dramas here i come..i need to de-stress.

Ychar;
Thursday, May 10, 2007

Time to start afresh with a new template..the last one was terrible..or maybe this is juz an excuse to distract myself from mugging..heck. A fresh start again to blogging and jotting down memories after a good lesson over the weekend which made me totally pissed off but don't worry, i'm ok now. I absolutely hate the exams..hate mugging, hate learning stuff that we probably wouldn't use next time that we'll probably forget very quickly. I hate the weather today..where's my sun? Feeling terribly grouchy..la porchetta pizza for lunch cheered me up only a little and now i have no mood to look at my lecture notes or another past yr paper again. Is this what ppl call burning out? Somehow i dunno...i only started doing past yr papers 2 weeks ago..thats hardly called a burnout i think. But i'm so tired. All i want to do now is fly away to somewhere else and put everything down. But i guess today wasn't such a waste. Had a good chat with an old old old friend..too many things left unsaid for so many years..and in 2 hrs we caught up on 7 yrs of lost time..or at least we managed to cover all the highlights of our lives in the past few yrs and regained that old easy feeling again. I feel like i've found another part of myself again..a part that i thought was lost when you left. And its amazing how you can still know me inside out.

Ychar;
Wednesday, May 09, 2007