YSunday, 15 July 2007
It feels like ages since I last posted here. It has been an absolutely crazily busy week. One of the busiest I've had since...maybe sec4..haha. Quite amazing that i actually survived this week..and somehow i catch myself wondering why i'm putting myself through all this. I need a break. already. But at least time flies when i'm busy and at least now i don't have time to think about stupid random things and stone staring out of the window. Or brood over my dismal results.
I wouldn't say my life is really terrible now but I guess i don't feel like i'm living my life to the fullest and really enjoying what i'm doing even though teaching can be fulfilling at times. I feel like i can be doing a whole load of other things..and be carefree..and then i'll think about 2nd yr and i'll get more upset. I foresee a hard yr of mugging ahead..plus internship apps and the internship itself. And then i think of ian who's going to intern at disney for 6 mths and i think..why can't my life be like that? I feel like doing something totally crazy and trying something diff...i could live in florence and try to paint. ok scratch that..can't paint for nuts. Or i can go off to alaska and teach english..or throw myself into micronesia..or try living in hawaii..basically have an unsuccessful life financially and still be super happy..is that possible? Instead of setting myself for a career in banking..is that what i really really want?sometimes i question myself..coz i get scared after hearing about the working hours..even though i really like the work they do in ibanking.. hai. I want my life too. In a way, it's a blessing in disguise that i didn't get an internship this summer...at least i still have a life..if i want it.