It's been a long time since I've last blogged and since i'm sitting in the library during my holiday doing nothing, i might as well blog.

New house.
Hmph. Can't say i'm really in love with it. The tube's a bitch since i haven't gotten my monthly concession card yet and transport costs are juz killing me now esp when i only figured out that i should tap my oyster card twice only for each trip even after changing from the DLR to the tube so i think for the first 4 days that i was back..i was spending about 10pounds on transport each day. omg. omg. omg.

House problems--I was quite pissed off when i arrived all tired and aching last sunday to find my room stuffed with all those boxes that should have been in the kitchen. Luckily yongseo was with me so he helped move them all out to the corridor and then we started getting down to work to clean the disgusting kitchen which still had stacks of dirty dishes from dunno who from dunno when and i had to throw out loads of stuff rotting in the fridge from july and august. And then after we found the hoover(it was somehow taken out of the store room and was hidden amongst the many boxes), we hoovered the ground floor and my room. I hate cleaning. really. To cap it all off, living with so many ppl isn't that fun. I think i am a very tolerant person. Well, at least my stuff wasn't stolen or broken..and well at least i wasn't stupid enough to unpack everything and lay it out for ppl..and i guess it's a blessing in disguise that my room was used as a storeroom and not someone else's bedroom and sex room. And no one used my plates and stuff since i had the sense to keep them in the boxes together with my bedsheets. Maybe life is fair.

Only good thing is greenwich village which we have discovered to be less than 10mins walk away from my ulu countryside house. At least i know there's lots of places to go to eat and to shop. After seeing where april and anthony moved into, i'm so jealous. i wanna move out now. but i have to think about rent constraints...argh.. And ok our gym and pool and sauna is not bad. But i don't need all those. Right now i juz feel like i'm living out of london.

And then school is starting in 2 weeks time. How time flies when all you want to do is juz stay still and smell the flowers.




You're the only one who knows to slow it down..

Ychar;
Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I like how it is with old pals. How words become unnecessary and the unspoken is so easily understood. How easy it is to pick up from where we left off even though its been so long and just sit and chat the whole night away until we're the only ones left. It felt like we had never stopped talking all those years back. I have missed this feeling. I really did. All those years when we stopped talking after you left. It was good catching up on all the lost times and filling each other in on what we have been doing with our lives and what we plan to do next. What seemed like a lost opportunity then now has turned out for the better. We've both made mistakes along the way, fallen onto the bad, lost touch but most importantly we both came back in the end..just like what shyam would say. I never knew life has been so hard on you and then I wonder if it would have been better if I had been around. I guess God has His plan for each and everyone of us even when it gets tough and we wonder why He's putting us through the test. I just hope you can persevere like how you used to and have courage in what will come next. Faith is a queer thing. But now I know we're all given equal doses of Faith..we just need to gather it all together before we lose ourselves.

We all have our superheroes and people we look up to. You could be a superhero to someone else even if that someone is too proud to tell you so. After teaching for so long, I've realised that I should never underestimate the power of influence a person can have over another. There will always be people who look up to you. Afterall, you were my superhero once and I guess I was one in some ways too. So even if you think you're not good enough and that you should stop bothering because nothing is working and everything is screwed up, don't give up because i know for sure that someone is still looking at what you do and figuring out if it should be followed and figuring out if it's right.

It's funny how all the circumstances have led and summed up our lives and now we can see each other so plainly and clearly. I guess studying abroad has its advantages too. I can count on one hand friends like you. Friends who don't have to be there 100% of the time to know what is going on and why I do the things I do and what I think when even my inner-self is confused.

I may seem like I have it all but I still feel lost. I feel damned. Who am I to talk about faith? Sometimes I don't know why I'm working and trying so hard. What if it all won't work out in the end? And with that easy charm, you point out what is lacking. A light turns on somewhere and it becomes bright and clear. Why hadn't I realised this before?










I didn't hear what you were saying.
I live on raw emotion baby
I answer questions never maybe
And I'm not kind if you betray me.
So who the hell are you to save me
I never would have made it babe.

Ychar;
Thursday, September 13, 2007

And so you died. I was keeping an eye out in the papers but nothing came up until I drove by that road again and saw the 'Fatal Accident' sign. I hate to say this but you shouldn't have rode a motorbike. This was the first time i saw a person die and it was quick, gruesome and scary. Just another km down that road, another 'Fatal Accident' sign has been put up. Motorbike vs car again. One of life's lessons that hasn't sunk in for many. I myself have to be more careful on the road too...i can't take all those near accidents lightly. Now i'm damn scared and wary of motorcyclists apart from my paranoia of reckless taxi drivers.

On another note, I have just came back from bangkok yesterday. Can't say it was a very fantastic trip since i was in a perpetual bad mood. Only the shopping and food was good. We met up with uncle john who moved to bangkok 10 yrs ago for who knows what reason. And now he speaks thai so fluently. He brought us to a really nice authentic thai restaurant set in an old wooden house that is quite a tourist attraction apparently and yet still serves very good authentic thai food. And he ordered lots of cool dishes that we wouldn't typically order if we hadn't gone with him like minced pork and olives with chopped lime, red onion and peanut all wrapped in raw kai lan. The moment i put it into my mouth, there was this whole explosion of flavours. Salty, sour, onion garlic hot, bitter from the lime skin. Delicious. He also brought us to china chao to this little cramped-by-the-road stall to eat aboling. That was the best best best aboling I've ever eaten. The skin was very soft and thin, the black sesame was thick and tasty and the ginger tea was strong but not overpowering. Perfect. I guess its worth it to move to bangkok just for the aboling and all the other cheap things.

The air in bangkok is just damn terrible. It's been a while since i last went so i guess i wasn't exactly prepared for the waves of smoke and the layer of smog in the air. I have to save my skin now. Traffic is bad as always and the poor draining system means clogged roads when it rains since cars can't travel on the flooded bits. It rained for a very short while on sunday. It wasn't even very heavy rain. Not the thunderous pouring you get here. And yet the road across our hotel was so flooded our taxi had to take a detour. All along the street there were people scooping water and sweeping water out of their shops. It really made me thankful of Singapore's wonderful drainage system.

And now i am terribly sick of singapore and of being home and of being nagged at by unpleasant people. I wanna go backkkkkk.

Ychar;
Tuesday, September 04, 2007