When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place

Ychar;
Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thank God for some people in my life. Who would go great lengths to help and pull me out of a crisis. These days..I don't want to keep my hopes up. Internship apps are such a pain. The tedious application forms, and then the anxiety, waiting, waiting, waiting for some response..and then excitement at being called for interviews..quickly followed by stresssss to prepare..and then disappointments and depression. This is like my life these past 2 weeks and knowing that so many people have already signed contracts for their summer internship has done nothing to make me less anxious. I hope i just get something...worst case scenario would be to accept a job in a non banking sector. That's not the end of the world is it?

Ychar;
Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Ychar;
Sunday, January 27, 2008

This weekend has been pretty good. Had the usual sunday lunch at martin and sooyeon's house with his family...everyone says i've lost weight. maybe. haha. life is just starting to get back on track now. My focus is coming back.

Had assessment centre on friday which didn't go as well as i had expected. hahaha. Was actually feeling abit disappointed though. So i headed over to sunwoong's house intending to brood with the usual beer..but his housemates threw a party to celebrate my getting rejected. haha. Its a celebration coz its my first tiny step to getting employed and i think i took a lot away this round..the next time is gonna be better. haha. So i was cheered up by the sweetness.

I feel inspired by people all around me. People who have so much so much energy in whatever they do..even if they have had a long tiring day, they can still smile and give it their all just to make someone feel better and comfortable...and people who don't have 'impossible' in their vocabulary.

i feel like i have the strength to move a mountain.

I can do anything. Eventually we will have it all. :) :)

Ychar;
Sunday, January 20, 2008

It's been some time since i last posted here. 70th post..hurhur. My head is now spinning from all the studying. I have not sat down for so many hours and studied like that since...maybe last may. argh. But at least, now i feel kind of settled in london. Even though sometimes it feels quite difficult to keep going especially when its so cold and gloomy..i've learnt to motivate myself harder. This yr is not gonna be an easy one. The reality of being in yr 2 is just hitting me in the face now. Even though theres only 23 weeks of sch, 12 more to go..i'm feeling so weighed down already.

Kilburn is really not such a bad place but its def not home. Niu niu is a comfort..padding up and down the house and pruning herself..but i think i'm gonna move this summer. Suddenly there are many things crossing my mind at once. Recent conversations with friends. Recollections. Old memories. What do we do with them. Met sujung yest for a nice long lunch followed by a super long chat at her place with more yummy food..felt like good therapy, analysing our lives like that. i need more of this.

The past week has been a busy one which passed quickly, thankfully. Learning korean seriously seriously...meeting up with friends, making new ones.. going over there for dinner sometimes..and got to know some interesting people with weirdly interesting backgrounds..like maya who has a sugardaddy back in japan who is supporting her in london and actually sends her 2 cartons of cigarettes every month..mad.. i think jap people are quite strange..i can't understand their thinking at all..







Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

Ychar;
Tuesday, January 15, 2008