This week has been not bad..been finally attending some sch and sg related events after being mia for ages. Went for alive on wed, which was the charity concert organised by mainly gangwei and some other singaporeans..it was SO GOOD. i was bloody impressed. It was an acoustic concert held in the chapel in king's college and it was really laid back..mostly singaporeans turned up to support for the good cause. The music and singing was incredible..i think some of them can go cut their own albums. Only thing was, nobody danced. -_-.

Then i went for some jap/korean soc dinner last night..didn't know lse has quite a few koreans. aha. the food was not bad and this is the first sch event i've attended since before exams last year. which is really ages ago! After the buffet thingy, limfuisze persuaded me to go for hip hop class but i chickened out last last last minute. would have died from the embarrassment. -_x. hahaha.

Anyhow, its friday evening! End of week 7 already~~~ Time really flies. This week, i received my contract and visa apps stuff. Employment feels real and close now. Really can't wait to step into the next phase of my life and work. No more job searches next yr liao. Thank goodness everything is secured and settled with a kick ass pay. So much for all those acts of desperation..i received 3 interview opportunities this week..haha but luckily its too late and i don't need all that anymore. All thats left is planning for summer holiday and what i'm gonna do in the super long 6 weeks march break. so far, no plans for march yet except that esther yeo is coming. haha. yay.

Ychar;
Friday, February 22, 2008

On sunday after church, we went over to ben and regina's house to join their family for sunday lunch. They're the first african family i know..and it was really awesome to be invited for lunch coz the food was so different but soooo delicious and they are so hospitable. They are originally from Ghana but they've both been here for nearly 25 yrs so their kids are all born and grown up here. Ended up spending an afternoon getting to know about Ghana and their culture..they have such a huge collection of photos..and surprisingly, Ghana is one of the relatively well-off countries in Africa and Accra, the capital, is fairly modern and developed and organised. Only problem is corruption which is everywhere. According to ben and regina, Ghana is predominantly christian. Even the north which used to be purely muslim has a strong christian following now. Which is pretty amazing. Taxis and stores have bible verses printed out and gospel music can be heard everywhere. Only thing is people can still cheat you with the bible verses staring at their faces. So..its scariness and wariness under the kind, religious facade. About poverty..i guess the rich-poor divide is really huge. Coincidentally, some lse ppl are organising a charity concert in aid of a Ghana project which some guys started last summer. At last, something that is meaningful. Feel a bit guilty that people are so busy working on such a meaningful project while i've been doing nothing and yet complaining that i'm busy and tired. haha.
Hmmm this week has started quite well..Now with my internship secured, my heart feels so much better. No more stress and no more worries. Received some stuff on visa apps today. It finally feels real that i'm going. My first step to financial independence and to reality. Had dimsum lunch with sujung and then some retail therapy! yea~~ oh and the weather was nice too. Cold but the sun was out, sky was clear and blue. Perfection.

Ychar;
Monday, February 18, 2008

Woohoo~~

went for my first live band pub performance in london last night! Went to the water rats at grays inn road where our friend performed with his band, after the fox! It was super cool. We arrived in time to listen to 3 sets by 3 diff bands. The first one was totally crazy, rock punker style. All the guys in the band had strange long blond hair which they kept swinging about as they rocked on their guitars. And they kept stripping off after each song. The lead vocalist wore 3 diff coloured pants which he kept stripping off after 1 or 2 songs. First red, then bright yellow then purple. And they had red and white face paint all over..one guitarist drew a huge red heart on his hairy chest which became smudged after a few songs. haha. The atmosphere was soooooo english and really cool. The 2nd band was my favourite..reminded me of those preppy high sch bands who croon about first love. haha. And lastly, our friend's band! after the fox!! its an acoustic band and they even have a violinist who was just awesome. They pulled the largest crowd. Had a really fun night. :) Kinda different from live bands in sg where ppl juz sit down on comfy couches, sip drinks and chill out. Here, there was nowhere to sit and chill. People were juz jumping and dancing all over the place. It was really mad and awesome. And the most starking difference was that all the songs the bands played were completely original! In sg, bands just perform songs by other singers/bands. But here, it was totally original and whacky. Dunno if they'll survive if they release albums and sell outside..haha but in a pub like that, it was just wicked fun.

Ychar;
Saturday, February 16, 2008

I've finally got what I've worked so hard for. All those hours put into doing up the applications and researching. It's all worth it now. Coz i'm gonna be in hongkong for 2 solid months this summer!! yay! I'm gonna work like mad and then shop like mad! I'm not gonna be unemployed now. Had a celebratory party last night at seonwoong and bokki's house. Feel really excited. And so very relieved. At least when i check my emails now, i don't have this sense of dread of receiving rejections and worrying about unemployment. I think finance sector is the only place where fresh grads can earn the same amount that an average man would take at least 10 yrs to climb up the ladder to earn. Which is quite mad. But i'm not complaining. This is what i came here for. hehehe. Bliss... And for that, i feel tired. and unmotivated to carry on. I want to just grab everything and fast forward my life so i don't have to go through the painful process of studying and having exams and waiting. But then again, i graduate next june. Which is less than one and a half years time. Time's gonna fly and maybe many things will pass me by.

Ychar;
Thursday, February 14, 2008

This week has been not bad. The sun has been out a lot and it already feels like spring!
cny was rather subdued for me this year but it was all right in the end thanks to good friendship and company and yummy food.

Weekend started on friday for me. Met su for dinner and another long therapeutic chat. Added a dose of positivity and more common sense into my head!

It was kenji's bday yesterday so we whipped up a feast and cooked loads of yummy jap food like tonkatsu, jap curry, a huge chicken dish and kimbap. It turned out to be a mad jap party coz so many of his other jap friends turned up and joined in at odd hours of the night. It felt like a cross of 3 different cultures which was pretty amazing. Esp when kuma, who has lived in shanghai for 6 yrs, started to speak to me in mandarin. It felt so strange and everyone was just silent, watching a conversation they couldn't understand until it was translated. haha. I hadn't drank that much in ages but the occasion called for it. Cooking for so many people is also very therapeutic even though i didn't know how to cook most of the dishes and just helped out. It really relaxed my mind. Cheers to good company and cheers to happy people who make the best out of their lives!

Today after church, ping invited us over for lunch so we went! together with sooyeon's family. Her house reminds me of a little cottage in the woods although it felt a bit big coz she's now living alone. It is amazingly neat and well-kept and cozy and sitting in the kitchen breathing in the aroma of delicious food made us feel so at home. I think, if i live alone in a house like that, i wouldn't be bothered to keep it so clean and tidy. Her garden is one of the most well-maintained gardens i've seen in london. Most british people can't be bothered to tend to their garden and just leave all the plants to take over completely and turn the yard into a mini jungle. But ping's garden is immaculate. The flowers at the sides have even started to bloom since its been a bit warmer this week. Yellow and pink and red and white. It felt like a fairytale garden amidst the cold wind, bright sunshine and clear blue sky.

Next week's gonna be pretty much the same as all other weeks. Nothing special. I'm gonna be good and study damn hard. This week, someone reminded me about something that i've seemed to have lost. I didn't even realise it but subconciously, it was gone. And now, it has come back. Life isn't so bad huh.

Ychar;
Sunday, February 10, 2008

I think hope is a very strange and important thing. It can fill you with strength just as easily as it can reduce everything you've worked for into shreds. This week has been an unsettling one. I've been thinking a lot about how it was like when i sailed. Seems like a long time ago. But what i'm feeling right now..it can be compared most directly to the worse days when i was sailing.

In any race, it isn't actually that hard to win. The largest obstacle is always myself but i didn't see that for many years and by the time i realised it, it was too late and my passion for the competition had run dry. My fighting spirit was diminished, defeated and i took a 'can't be bothered' attitude to everything because i was afraid to give my all and fail in the end. But i've realised, such success and failure shouldn't be defining my life or my happiness.

Sometimes i don't know why we keep running and keep chasing our dreams. Do we really believe that if we keep running, we will get there in the end? Or are we afraid to stop running because that is the only direction we have known all our lives? When i was racing, i used to think, i can be better, i can improve and climb my way up so all this shit will be worth it in the end..i just must endure for now and keep going. And when i got there, it wasn't what i wanted at all. And i wondered why i had wasted so much time, all those weekends, all those years, chasing.
If you had known me as fellow sailor and known me in sch or elsewhere, i don't think you'll be able to reconcile the 2 sides of me because i had channeled all my passion and energy into something i had thought was all i wanted and i was so aggressive to achieve it that i did anything and was blinded.

Now, i'm feeling like i'm back to where i was. I'm afraid to move on because i don't know if it will be worth the chase. Its been a long time since i've given my all and persevered to the end. Will it be better to continue hoping and chasing?

I remember reading from the alchemist by paulo coelho: 'When you really want something bad enough, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it'. Is that how it really is? Can we always get everything we want so long as we want it badly enough?

Ychar;
Sunday, February 03, 2008